I guess I’ll never get it right:
what God’s wrong and what God’s right.
At 10 I knew which one He was:
the One and only One,
at that bright age there’s no trick—
He’s half carrot and half stick:
say your prayers and go to church
and He’ll never leave you in the lurch.
But soon I learned that I was wrong:
If I were oh so good and strong—
I still was born in sin (you see?)
and that’s why Jesus died for me.
I’d bypass hell by trusting Him
because he paid for all that sin..
The Godly barter seemed alright,
though more in theory than in life,
so—for a decade God seemed swell
(if I didn’t study Him too well).
Besides, shouldn’t thoughts of God
be separate from your fun and job?
But my brain
obsessed about a God more logical,
so I finally quit fooling around
and tried to pin the real God down:
Jesus loved me, this I knew
for the Bible sure was true—
(a thought to which I still had clung,
and on which so many happy sermons hung)
so I dug into the sacred text.
That only made Him more complex!
The Holy Book we’d always read
showed God preferred bad people dead,
but if you were Solomon you could bed
a thousand women without dread.
This God disturbed me through and through.
(Ugh! He might kill your children too!)
there were many ways to learn
and I tried lots, turn by turn.
Buber, Crossan, Borg and Spong
the list is long……….
There’s God of Process, God of Mind,
God of almost any Kind:
History, Mystery, Cosmic God,
God Conformist, God the Odd.
God in All or God in Me…
how many Gods can there be?
He could be a She or Us,
Or Hold us all, just like a bus.
I could be a deist or a pantheist,
a zoist or an animist.
I could be any “–ist” at all
—like picking God out at the mall.
Look for One God and you find
so Many that it blows your mind !
I could keep my childhood God…
or whatever appealed to grown-up Rod.
I was worried I would lose
something (like…my soul?),
I just couldn’t choose
the One that seemed to be for me,
I simply let Him be.
when I think more thoughtfully
I see two jumbly parts of me
…one part that thinks religiously
…one part that lives quite godlessly,
and since I cannot choose the God
who fits my head and fits my job,
for now I’ll leave Them All up on the shelf
and trek through life all myself.