“I can’t believe they all came here
—those foreign people in my town!
Not one more Pablo or Amir!
—We’ve got to close the border down!
And there is such a simple cause:
stupid people made our laws!
They should’ve saved us from the hordes
who came to take our jobs
and import all their wierdo Gods.
Then like magic comes a guy
so tough that he could power through
(and so rich there’s no one he can’t buy!)
to do what’s right for me and you.
He promised he’d move hard and fast
(no time to waste on stupid facts),
he’d roll right over that whole mess
made by freedom of the press.
No time to waste on courts and bills
—his dealer skills would fix our ills.
He’d drain the swamp—
you would see—
we’d be great from sea to sea!
And wow—I can’t believe my luck!
He won the crown!
Now he’ll take charge!
(The power of often saying ‘F……’ must have made the vote so large
…and those threats to sue the jillion liars that he knew!
Thank God he didn’t care what he said—or when or where!)
But now I’m worried that our fate
will get screwed up by those we hate—
the flunkees from the Donald’s school
(…um…University, I guess…)
and those women claiming sex abuse—
‘He stuck his hand up in my dress’?
—What? Doesn’t every guy do that?
or at least tell girls they’re fat?
and all those stupid little jerks
who know they did such shoddy work
that clearly he could never pay what he agreed
(and not because of Donald’s greed or need
—all those famous business losses
were from other dirty bosses).
Now these losers want to sue
the man who’s helping me and you!
It’s so unfair! the system’s rigged!
(Psst—our list of enemies is very big.)
How can he do what’s right if he has to sit all day in court?
(and he has to tweet at night! to give the latest great report!)
I hope his baggage isn’t real….
the other candidate was such a crook,
we had to get the power…
of all her lies…
the time it took…
those missing emails and their stink
allowed no space for us to think
of anything except her dirt.
but I sure love his Twitter blurts
So will he really walk his talk?
Will his Twitter feed go soft?
Can he really build that wall
to make us great and save us all?
What use is being president
(after all the useless rules he bent)
if he can’t bend the world our way
and—for this white guy—save the day?”